“Home”

Most of us have a physical address, for example, 333 Main Street, Anytown, USA.  But where does our heart reside?  Is it where we grew up as young children, with memories of riding tricycles and our young neighbors?  Is it where we spent our adolescence, feeling those pangs of attraction for that cute boy or girl down the street?

By the time we’ve completed high school, our sense of home is fairly well defined.  Later in life, as we contemplate “home” , that will function as a reference point.  “Home” was a place where, regardless of how we had failed our parents’ expectations, we could still return.

But, as adults, we also create our own sense of home.  This may have to do with the part of the country we choose to live in, a spouse’s personal history and sense of place, the career path we follow, and decisions we make for our children, regarding schooling, etc.

The idea of “home”  has recently been very much on my mind.  My elder daughter married a few weeks ago, and the ceremony and associated festivities were all held in areas of a city where I used to spend a great deal of time.  And, this weekend, my husband and I are traveling in our motor home through parts of the state that were home to me for many years.

A strange sense of disconnect during these last two trips led me to ponder how we establish that sense of home.  A number of years ago, as I was going through a major life upheaval, I was elated to travel to the city that would become my new home.  The sense of exhilaration as I departed was unparalleled.  The return trip was agony, except for the awareness that I’d soon see my college-age daughters. 

This process went on for several months, until I had my new residence established and resolution of legal matters under way.  And so the transition from home in one city, where I had resided for many years and where my children had been born and raised, began.

I immersed myself in the professional community in my new city and experienced a great deal of satisfaction in that.  I made rewarding connections and found that exciting professional opportunities emerged from those.  And, so, my new city has become home in a very vibrant and promising way.  And yet, a trip through my former home is enough to powerfully tug at my heartstrings.  The moral of the story is, I guess, that we invest ourselves emotionally wherever we go, and that that’s just fine.